Brave Faces Everyone

"Because I swear to god, I'm an optimist."

My oldest son Milo is the person in our family with the most robust social life. And this year he asked if he could throw a little Christmas party for his friends. Well, “asked” is perhaps the wrong word, a more accurate description of events is that he informed us that he would be throwing a Christmas party. His vision included the classic White Elephant gift swap game as well as mocktails, homemade cookies, and candy cane cheesecake.

One of the joys of having older children is being less and less involved with the execution of events like this one. Milo bought his own gift to add to the game, convinced my husband to take him to the grocery store for supplies, and then wrangled my younger son, Joey, into helping him bake way too many cookies that looked like reindeer with pretzel antlers. Milo also printed invitations, collected RSVPs and then came straight home after school on the day of the party to get everything set up. For my part, I cleaned the bathroom, put a Christmas tablecloth on the table, and then took the barky dog upstairs and hid in my bedroom for the duration.

I could hear them all downstairs, swanning around with their cranberry-orange mocktails and laughing and goofing around during the gift swap. Christmas carols on the stereo, fire in the fireplace, friends sitting on the floor, the sofa, every available chair.

In late November, Joey and I ran out of Ramona books to read at bedtime and, on a whim, I brought home Christmas at The Vinyl Cafe.

“This story,” I told him, opening the book, “is called ‘Dave Cooks the Turkey’.”

If you are unfamiliar (hello Americans!) The Vinyl Cafe was a wildly popular show on CBC Public Radio that ran from 1994 until 2015, hosted by Toronto journalist/author Stuart McLean. The backbone of the show was McLean’s “Dave and Morley” stories which chronicled the day to day lives of a Toronto couple and their family and neighbours. While the stories were occasionally critiqued for being too light and gentle, they were generally just beloved. And ‘Dave Cooks the Turkey’, about the occasionally hapless Dave attempting to cook a Christmas turkey for the first time ever while getting tipsy on scotch and making more and more drastic mistakes, is one of the most adored stories in the series.

Once Joey got to know the characters and the rhythm of the stories, a few of them proved too much for his sensitive nature. After the first few pages of a story where the family was attempting to drive across several provinces in a snowstorm, Joey tapped out, unamused with the antics and the mounting tension.

“I just feel like something bad is going to happen.” He said. We moved on to the next story.

When he had the same response to a later story, I realized that I hadn’t really told him about how these stories originally existed. So I explained that the stories were really meant to be read aloud. That Stuart McLean toured across the country reading stories to large audiences of fans and that people always laughed at the tense parts. I described a memory I had from seeing McLean here in Ottawa where the first part of the story set up an obvious hiccup to come later and when the audience groaned “oh no!” prematurely, McLean faked an exaggerated snit, clapping his folder of pages closed and admonishing the crowd “don’t get ahead of me now!” The crowd roared.

That changed everything for Joey. Now when I story gets stressful I remind him to picture it being read out loud for a big theatre full of people who are laughing at all the jokes. Something about that image deflates his stress. It’s as if knowing that he’s not the only one who has heard these stories makes him able to trust that things will work out fine. If the intention of the story was once to make people laugh in crowded theatres across the country, then it will probably work out fine when we get through it with our audience of two.

*

I have very specific circumstances under which I enjoy holiday crowds. I like a theatre full of people, the same way Stuart McLean did. I don’t mind a crowded bookstore or coffee shop, since bookstores should always be mobbed and coffee shops always seem to have at least one seat free where I can sit and get caffeinated while I people-watch. And growing up I loved the Christmas open-house that my parents had every year when they’d invite everyone they knew to come over anytime between early afternoon and late evening. The house would be full for hours, with the adults getting comically buzzed enough to dance in the living room to whatever music my dad put on while the kids enjoying the benign parental neglect while we gossiped and ate way too many desserts.

But of course, recent years has taken some of the fun away from gathering. I had a great night last December with two friends I hadn’t seen forever, where we nabbed a table in a crowded, cosy pub and talked for hours, dissecting Shawn’s love for Taylor Swift and how YouTube might be altering our kids’ brain chemistry. “This is like that scene in The Holiday…” I remember thinking, as they walked in through the throng of patrons in sweaters and joined me at the table, cheeks red and smiles huge.

Two days later we all had COVID.

So I don’t feel right having a Christmas party right now, despite how much I’d love to emulate those fun nights my parents’ hosted all those years ago. But I had a great time at a showing of Love Actually at a small local theatre this week, where I wore a mask and sat happily in the dark, listening to people around me laugh and gasp*. It was a great feeling.

2024 was obviously a wild year for me and I have a hard time looking back on it without the book release eclipsing everything else. But I can say that for 2025, I am hoping for more of so many of things I have always loved- more writing, more cooking, more sewing, more dog walks, more cups of tea, more records, more movies at the Bytowne cinema, more libraries and indie bookstores, and more gatherings, whatever form they have to take as time rolls on.

Happy New Year.

*Honestly the people sitting behind us had never seen it. Can you IMAGINE? The noise they made when Colin Firth’s novel pages blew into the water was amazing.

December 2024 - How To Help

This month I wanted to highlight Kind Space here in Ottawa, an organization that provides resources, hosts events, and offers social and educational programming prioritizing oppressed sexual orientations, gender identities, and expressions. If you, like me, are horrified by anti-trans and homophobic rhetoric and legislation, finding a space like Kind Space in your area to donate to or volunteer at is a great way to contribute within your own community.

December 2024 - Songs

Something about Ted Hawkins’ song “Sorry You’re Sick” is the exact vibe I need to hear right now, even though I don’t actually want anything from the liquor store. If Ted’s going to the bakery or bookstore though, there are definitely a few things he could grab for me.

I didn’t do much shopping for myself over the last few months, but when I was Christmas shopping at Compact Music here in Ottawa earlier this month the owner pointed me at a used copy of John Prine’s Tree of Forgiveness album that had just come in. Mint condition, $20, I could not resist. This one includes the song “Boundless Love” which is a great song for the beginning of a new year.

For Christmas my husband bought me a vinyl copy of Blue Rodeo’s Casino album, which was the album that got me into the band back when I was a wide-eyed teen. I’m so happy to have it in my collection. The guitar riff at the beginning of “Til I Am Myself Again” makes me feel like a teenager every time.

December 2024 - Feelings

I’ll go back to mini book reviews next month but for now here is a collage of some of my favourite reads from 2024. These are in no particular order and they encompass everything from romance, to thriller, to mystery, to memoir, to middle-grade fiction. All told I read 50 published books this year and two unpublished manuscripts for writer friends and I’m very pleased with that total, especially since I spent a lot of time re-reading my own book during edits etc, so it honestly feels miraculous that I read ANYTHING, let alone 52 other books.

Thanks for reading! See you next month.

J.W.

Instagram : @JenniferWhitefordWrites

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